Stage
3: Working together and moving on
- now that they know how to work together through the pain of the trauma, the personalities can begin applying the same principles to other aspects of their life. The personalities can learn to stop dissociating and start to experience life together. They can also learn how to make day-to-day decisions together;
- this is also the time they determine whether they want to integrate or have some kind of fusion or blending of the personalities. Do they eventually want to be only one personality? This is a choice I believe the multiple himself must ultimately make even though some therapists believe this is the only goal of treatment. I don’t think it is for everyone;
-
there will be many emotions to deal with
throughout the healing process and anger and rage are among the most
significant. The person must find a way to deal with these most difficult
emotions and determine how best to resolve them.
The goal is not to get the
split-off parts to fuse – a word that sounds threateningly like annihilation
for parts of the self that are full of life and energy – but to practice
‘time-sharing of the psyche’ as one psychiatrist puts it. The image of
wholeness arrived at after a successful treatment thus is not likely to be of a
solid unit so much as of a functioning plurality – an orchestra, say, or a
collegiate rowing team – where the various selves cooperate in working toward
an agreed-upon goal. (Multiple Realities
see BOOKS, ARTICLES)
During
the healing process survivors develop a way of treating themselves that they
have yearned for their entire lives. They can find justice. They find
unconditional love for their other personalities as they hear their own
innocence and pain. They can be as codependent as they want to be with
themselves. Some personalities can express their anger, and other personalities
can listen to the pain. In time, the various personalities reach a point of
deep, mutual respect. As the personalities listen to one another, they find
common ground in their beliefs. Each personality is in place to help the system
meet its basic needs; each deserves tremendous respect. (Understanding Multiple Personality Disorder)
